Guest Blog by Kimberly Egipciaco, Heart Ambassador, American Heart Association NJ
I can remember the waiting. The long hours of hoping the phone would ring so we could know if it was in fact true.
Are we pregnant? A boy or girl? Ten fingers? Ten toes?
But I was no stranger to the time it took for bloodwork to be processed by a lab, or for a doctor to find some time to call with news amid the chaos of their day. I was also not a stranger to hard phone calls with even tougher messages. “You have a hole in your heart….need surgery…..the baby’s heart is not strong enough…..can no longer find a heartbeat….I’m sorry…” Nightmares such as these haunt many and there is not much to stifle the pain at the time, but I am grateful now for the impact those messages had on me, on my life, and on my future. They have allowed me to gather information, educate myself on healthy habits, and share those with others. I do this especially as a mother to a six year old tornado of both energy and empathy; my heart walking around outside of my body. Is there nothing better or for that matter, scarier?
Once we were through the first and second trimester it was time, time to go to the neonatal cardiologist to find out if our baby would have a congenital heart defect like me. It was time to have the ultrasound that would change our lives forever.
I was terrified. I can remember my hands shaking in my lap while my husband sat beside me, his hand trying to steady my own. Useless, of course. We were both so nervous. Thoughts consumed me. Will he be a blue baby like me? What if he has a hole in his heart? What if he can’t breathe on his own? What if he needs surgery?
And the worst of them all….What if I lose this baby, too?
I could tell that the neonatal cardiologist had sat in front of a thousand parents like me; mothers and fathers terrified for their unborn babies or their walking, breathing, talking children. He chose his words carefully about how the baby was still forming and although things looked good, it did not mean they would continue to be. I would have to come back several times prior to our son’s arrival into this world. Keep monitoring, keep pushing forward, keep praying….
Remain terrified.
It was not what I wanted to hear and the next few months were a struggle to quell the constant anxiety I felt. But then, one fateful day in May, he was here! A healthy baby boy with four completely formed chambers in his heart and a strong set of lungs. Chase weighed over eight pounds, cooed and smiled almost immediately, and if there were ever a hole in my heart, he certainly did fill it immediately with his immeasurable love.
Suddenly he was here!!! And, you guessed it, I was terrified.
How do I protect him from making poor health choices? How do I keep him safe, especially once he is older and out of my care?
And then it came to me! Be his Parental Heart Mentor. No, this is not a real title. Relax. You have not failed. I made it up and it is what I call myself in terms of how I educate my son about healthy habits and how to navigate this world from fast food to sugar to syrup on waffles for breakfast. (All of which he has had in the past and will continue to have in the future because life and all things delicious should be enjoyed in moderation, of course.)
Education: The first step is educating your children about their bodies. As a teacher, education is a huge part of my wheelhouse and I am quite comfortable with chunking information into small digestible pieces, but if this is not your jam, not to worry. There are plenty of educational websites about our bodies and health that can be found and vetted across various websites. A simple two-minute video can help a child to better understand how to treat their body better. Ask to borrow a stethoscope when you are at the doctor so that your child can listen to their own heartbeat. You can then explain that the heart pumps blood to the rest of the body and so the healthier it is, the better it will work.
Setting Goals: Starting with making small goals can be quite helpful. I like to set a goal for myself and then ask my son to join me. It can be something like drinking only water and milk five days a week. We can’t have sugary drinks, but on the weekend, we indulge and can have juice with breakfast or a sports drink after baseball practice. Setting these goals together will not just keep your child accountable, but it keeps me accountable. I find I drink more water and make better choices when I am committed to showing my son just how important these goals are, and he, in turn, loves to make Mommy proud. It works, truly! (And yes, sometimes it fails, too, but at least we are trying!)
Healthy Choices:
Vegetables – I will own the fact that I cannot get my son to eat vegetables. Nothing except cauliflower. That’s right. Just cauliflower. He won’t touch broccoli or carrots or green beans or peas. If it is green, it isn’t happening. This can be tough as a parent who wants to keep their child as healthy as possible. Don’t give up though. When in doubt, put it on the plate. Just put it there. He does not have to eat it, but it is good for him to see the rest of us eat it. Modeling the choice to eat vegetables every night sparks my son’s curiosity. One of these days, he will pop a broccoli floret in his mouth, and I will just about pass out, but at least then he will know how good they are! Now for my parents whose child(ren) won’t even touch the plate if a vegetable is on it, I have a tip for getting them to eat veggies without knowing it. Stick them in a smoothie. Works like a charm. Spinach? Check. Avocado? Check. Kale? Check. It is even better when I have leftovers because I pour the smoothie into a popsicle mold and then my son eats one after dinner as a treat! Trust me. They will never know what you’ve done until it’s too late.
Protein and Fruit: Now, if you are like me and cannot get your children to eat their veggies, not to worry. There are lots of other options to fill a plate that still offer vitamins and nutrients over sugar and saturated fat. Protein is filling and gives kids energy and strength. It’s no joke how my son will house an entire pound of chicken all by himself. He thrives on meat and loves filling up on fruit. His favorite food is strawberries, and he will eat a whole bunch of bananas in a day if I let him. If Pescatarian, feel free to eat fish, or vegetarian, make a grab for those legumes, tofu, nuts and seeds. My son is a sucker for cashews, almonds, walnuts, etc. We may not be able to put them in his school lunch, but they are a solid snack option.
The Snack Drawer: I know what you are all thinking about as parents though. The dreaded snack drawer. My son has access to his snack drawer and figured out the childproofing lock on it by the time he was three. That meant my husband and I had to be wise about what we were stocking in the drawer to ensure that he had a variety of choices to pick from. Gone were the Halloween candy and cupcakes filled with sugar, instead and we started stocking up on options that would promote positive growth of body and mind. We had little cups of fruit such as peaches, pineapple, and pears in water. We also included fruit leather and banana or apple chips. We included yogurt and applesauce pouches as well as protein bars and plain popcorn. We stocked wheat crisps, pretzels, and whole grain crackers instead of chips. Trail mix and dried granola became a staple for “grab and go” situations. What I find most of the time is that my son just wants options, and to feel like he is in control, so might as well help him to learn how to choose wisely from a young age.
Make Food Fun: One of my favorite things is a good charcuterie board. Now my son loves a good cheese stick or lunchable, but in our house we have fun making snack boards instead with various ingredients. From Swiss cheese and ham roll-ups to apple slices with peanut butter, we throw whatever we have in small amounts on a board to enjoy as a family. It is a great way to get those heart-healthy snacks into your diet but also a way to avoid overeating or tiring of the same thing all the time. It keeps things interesting, and no kid will turn down a snack board with just a couple of chocolate chips in the corner either. ::wink wink::
Physical Activity: Am I a runner? No. Am I doing an intense workout every morning? No. Am I engaged in a HIIT workout every day after work? No. With my heart and my asthma, none of the above are happening, but that does not mean I walk away from giving my body the energy it needs to function. During the summer, I love to swim! I can often be found dancing in my kitchen while I make dinner. My son is typically right next to me twirling around and giggling. We stage epic battles with lightsabers, crawl through tunnels and living room pillow forts, play baseball in the backyard, and have epic water balloon battles. We run and jump through sprinklers, we go biking down streets and walk all the way to the coffee shop on Sunday mornings for an ice-cold beverage. The holes in the knees of his pants are a clear sign of the joy he feels running, and jumping, and living. That’s what it’s all about, after all. Life! And I can only hope he carries these habits into his teens and adulthood.
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